Interim Therapy

I have a headache and behind my eyes I can feel my depression building. It tends to come in a physical form, pressure in the eyes mostly. 2nd session with cbt therapist on Thursday, more tears. I have reading and homework to complete, goals to set.
I want to write and I can't. All I can do is sit here.
I realise this is writing. Only it isn't because it's just the voice in my head stamping it out on the page. Proper writing eludes me.
The week before, she asked me what I did when the feelings became overwhelming and the bad thoughts started to sneak in. I told her that I didn't really, just sort of rode it out until it faded. Or until I tired myself out and could sleep. I always forget to say it makes me want to punch myself in the face; break my nose or my arm or snap something. Suffocate myself.
I'd do it, only explaining it to the paramedics puts me off.
"Who did this?"
"I did."
"Why?"
"Attention seeking?"
Yep, pretty much. I'd only hit myself in the face to make it look like there was something seriously wrong with me. There isn't.
It does sort of seem to be dissipating now. My face is still sore, but the ache in my throat and the tears are going away.
See? It didn't last long.